Highlights:
• Overly clever, pun-filled names like The Hairport or The Family Hairloom. Har har.
• Totally boring, literal names like the now defunct Third Street Coffee House.
• Names that backfire completely when applied to internet URLs. Need a therapist? Try www.therapistfinder.com. Need some good art, go to www.speedofart.com. Looking for a nice pen? www.penisland.com.
Here are a few other examples of names, both good and bad:
• Federal Express became Fed Ex. A smart move, considering that’s what everyone called ‘em anyway. Besides, repainting all their jets with the new shorter logo saved the company millions year in fuel costs alone.
• Dress Barn??? How many women will admit to shopping there, much less bring herds of their friends in?
• Drug companies spend billions every year on names, yet they come up with some of the worst: “Nasalcom” for an inhaled antihistamine. Sounds like a rat poison that works when they sniff it. “Vagistat” for a yeast infection medicine. “Cutivate” for a skin condition medicine. Aspercreme for an ointment that doesn’t even have any aspirin in it. Not only are drug names often lame mash-ups of other words, the FTC recently concluded that dozens sound dangerously similar.
• Here are a few of my own: PointsWest for a resort development on the west side of Bend, Oregon. Sit Down Dinners for a personal chef service. Widgi Creek for a golf club.
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